The End of Something Special

Last night was the last lesson in the studio.  

As I type that I am still a little unsure exactly how I feel about it.  

There are many things that have come from this decision that I am exited about and hopeful for;  

Being able to be a part of bedtime with the kids every night, not having to worry twice a week about making a quick and easy dinner as it all had to be eaten and cleaned up before lessons start, 

being able to put that part of my brain to sleep for a while,  not always thinking about student stuff that is drying too little or too much (firings, mixing glazes, and generally always having a piece of my brain in the studio),  after 4 years of teaching I will have my own studio again,   and of course being able to give this space to my brother allowing him to have his own space for the first time.  To see his excitement about this is so heart warming as I remember the anticipation of my first apartment on my own.

All these things I am excited about and what it is going to create in my life. 

On the other hand when I stand downstairs there is this emptiness.  Something I didn't anticipate feeling. It was once a creative space that student found safe and comforting and it has now lost that feeling.  It now just feels like a room.  Nothing safe or creative about it.  I will miss some of the students that have been coming for years and are now really a part of our family and the once a week connection.  

I am letting go of a major part of my business and I am trying to embrace the idea of transition and change rather than failure.  I am not stopping because it wasn't working or successful but because I can't do it all and right now babies and children need me more.  

I am going to continue to be the artist that I am creating in my new space and if I end up not teaching again I will know in my heart that for a short time I lived my dream to the fullest running the studio.