Being Reminded

This week I have been teaching a summer camp.  Each of the students are here for a different reason and I am totally supporting and embracing each of the things that they getting from the week.  I on the other hand am trying to struggle with the teaching aspect of it.  If nothing else it reminds me that I am not ready to be teaching full time hours.  It is only Wednesday and I am already very tired, cranky and feeling like I am getting nothing done (the laundry is still waiting for me in the basement, calling out to be cleaned so that it can be loved again)  I think to myself that I should be happy that people want to be learn from me and be in my space and of course there is always the money.  But why am I so worried about the money?  Why does it have to be something that we focus on all the time?  As though making TONS of money will really buy us all that happiness.  In reality I am happier when I only have a few students, teaching part time and enjoying my family.  Maybe it took this week of full time teaching to realize that.  That cutting down my times while Lily is small is what I wanted and better yet needed.  

I was reading the post the other day over at Crunchy Cursive and think that we too have chosen a life that many do not understand.  What she wrote touched me and made me think it is o.k.  That I am not crazy to want to be living this life.  The "Starving Artist", the Authentic Life, the Mother that I feel will be one of worth for my child to see and model against.  What does a child have to model against when for many they see their parents for only a few moments a day over hurried meals and rushed activities?  I want my children to remember the smell of baking bread, the feel of strawberries between their fingers as we made Jam together,  the sense of calm as we felt and floated through the day rather than rushed.  I want them to remember a woman who loved what she did, and followed her dreams and loved with all her heart and might.  Why is it that I am considered someone that is taking this risk in life when it feels like the safest choice?  

Almost everyday I try and remind myself to let it go and follow that feeling deep inside that is telling me that I am doing what is best for me and my family.  That while others may not understand that we do and that it all that matters. 

So here is to choosing the life that calms that waters of your soul and makes you breathe..... Ah!