Turning One!

This weekend we celebrated Lily's first birthday.  It seems as though it was only a short time ago that we welcomed this little soul into our lives.  She and I have had quite the journey this past year.  It started out bumpy as we learned about one another but as our relationship grew the waters calmed and this beautiful sunshine emerged.  This little girl that has already taught me so much.

I went into my second time as a mother with a great confidence thinking to myself what was there to fear as I already had one how could it be any different.  Different it was.  She was a different person and the bag of tools that I had as a mother didn't work for her.  Lily lived the first 4 months of her life inside a pocket sling.  Without this invaluable tool I am not too sure how we would have managed.  It was as though she wanted to be out of my body but not quite and so the sling provided her with the comfort and safety that she needed.  My grandmother once said it was like being pregnant still but just on the outside and this was what it was like.  Lily needed another trimester it seemed only on the outside.  She cried a lot and only wanted Me.  Something I wasn't used too and not too sure how to handle.  She was the second baby, everyone told me they are calm and peaceful, sleeping lots and easy going.  That was what I expected.  How was I going to make pottery and be creative?

Summer came and went and Lily blossomed.  She learned to use her hands and things got better.  She learned to sit on her own and things got better.  She learned to crawl and my world changed.  With each development she got happier and more content and I was learning more and more each day about who I was as a mother, a wife, an artist, and most importantly about myself.

This past year Lily has allowed me to learn to let things go.  How to ask for help.  Take the pressure off myself as I am the only one putting it there no one else.  As an artist and someone that makes their living as a creative being there is the feeling at times that we must always want and need to be creative.  That creativity and art just follows us and so sometimes when we buy something instead of making it or we watch t.v all evening instead of knitting that we are not fulfilling this expectation.  Lily has helped to me be o.k. with all of this, as I just couldn't do it all.

As I look back over the past year I think of the amazing moments of have had with this little angel and the journey that lays ahead.