Inspiration

I am dwelling in the low of First Trimester illness and fatigue.
Thank you Erin for inspiring me with this.....


"How To Start Over" by Maya Stein

1.
resist the temptation to wipe the slate clean entirely.
you cannot do this.
you are where you are.
but you can dust. you can mop. you can cleanse your belly
of all the heavy cheeses you ate at last month's holiday parties.
you can initiate the day with decaf.
you can rake four batches of leaves from the lawn.
you can sing, loudly, in the car to no one
but the man on the radio who is singing with you.
you can decide that the apple pie you are craving
will not come from your hands, your oven, your kitchen,
but from the bakery aisle at your neighborhood grocery.

2.
ignore the titles from the self-help shelves and glossy
women's magazines, with their sound bytes of colorful insight.
you do not need a makeover, a diet, a religious conversion.
you do not need to get more in touch with your feelings.
you do not need potassium, or St. John's Wort, or a colonic.
you need a walk, communion with shore birds, a rainstorm,
a glass of wine in front of a fire, lip gloss, a whole evening
of the novel you read only incrementally, at night, before bed.

3.
ignore the calendar, the clock, the larger itineraries
ticking their niggling bits of time.
you will sleep when you need to.
you will know when it is time for water, for a shower,
for a phone call, for a kiss, for solitude, for Indian food,
whatever nourishment you need for your throat, your ears,
the palms of your hands, the hunger just under your skin.

4.
imagine, despite your unbearable faults and fissures,
you are still a thing of beauty, a rare creature, a snowflake,
a singular, spectacular atom circumnavigating the tangled astronomy

Something to Share

For the past few weeks we have been holding a small secret close to our hearts.  I have thought many times to share it here but I was just not ready.

We are expecting our third babe in June.  We at first had thought that we would keep this close to us and share little with others as it will probably be our last pregnancy and I wanted to hold it sacred for a while.  However, in our initial excitement we told Sam and therefore everyone he met for the next few days he told them that his Mommy was growing another baby in her belly.  So everyone knew, even strangers.

Being my third pregnancy I am stressed about very little.  I am very calm and excited about the next 8 months and the transformation and inner work that it brings.  I have had difficulty this time accepting being pregnant.  Paul and I had talked about it for a few months and then decided that we would try one cycle and see what happens if it was meant to be we would get pregnant and if not we would wait a year. (Having a summer baby is best for the studio as we close it for the summer, therefore I can take the time off mostly guilt free)
So we tried and got pregnant and I was taken back.  I started over thinking it, why was this the right time? Why was I special enough to get what I asked for?  If I asked for this and got it what other possibilities are out there?  Everything is going amazing, pregnancy, kids, studio, marriage, creativity.  When was the other shoe going to drop?  I don't feel pregnant, I feel great, are we sure I am pregnant.

Now I am taking all that over thinking back.  I sure FEEL pregnant now!  Just as we block out labour pain, we block out morning sickness and all the other 'joys' of the first trimester.  The most difficult one for me is the lack of creativity.  I don't feel like doing anything, the knitting collects dust, very little pottery is made and fabric piles up waiting to be made into something.  I know that this will all pass in the next few weeks/months but for someone who defines herself so much on who she is as being creative, this slump is sometimes hard to take.  I am slowing doing something each day that I can count as being creative making me feel better.  I am catching up on reading and movies.

So please be patient as I try to get here a write what I can as I start the cocoon of pregnancy.  

{this moment}

Waiting for the bus

Autumn Wonder

Here in Ontario this time of year turns into Mother Nature's Palette of beautiful warm colours.  The changing of the leaves is something I have always found to be so amazing and inspiring.   Even though the days are getting shorter and darkness keeps finding us sooner and sooner, the brightness of the trees seems to even it all out.  

Each morning I awake in my bed to see the trees have changed just a little more from the day before.  The pile of leaves at the door has grown a little bigger and yet again there has been rain over night.  I crawl out of the warmth of my bed, slip on my newly made slippers, wrap myself in snuggly robe and head to the kitchen to see what sort of wonder awaits me there (the kids have been up for about an hour on their own).

The change that Autumn brings is greatly welcomed after the heat and non-structure of the summer.  We all seem to fall right back into the rhythm that works so well for us.  Sam back to school, Paul back to regular working hours, Mama cooking and teaching, and Lily along for the ride enjoying the comfort of what comes next.  

There is warm food cooking, knitting for warm heads, snuggling at night under warm blankets, and the beauty of nature.  Just a few of the many reasons I love Autumn so much.  

I won an Art Prize!

My painting won third place in the Georgina Art Centre 10 in 10 Art Competition!  Not too sure what that means as I was not able to make it to the artist reception.  

I can't believe that I won something for my mixed media.  I am just a potter.  

I am guessing this means I am a real artist now.  

Little Creations

I was going to write about something completely different today but then I awake to this sweet project this morning.  

Sam is an early riser and so it up much earlier than we are.  He always comes into our room to tell us that he is awake and each morning we ask him to play quietly until everyone else gets up.  Most mornings he plays cars or 'robots', this morning he must have been feeling rather creative.  

He decorated the pumpkins that we brought home on the weekend from the farm.  He explained that he had made a Lily one, a Sam one, and a Mommy/Daddy Hat one.  He even included the dog in the scene by adding her leash. It amazes me each and everyday the growth that they have.  They are never standing still they are always growing and changing.  Not unlike us I guess.  

What little creations are at your house?  Are you seeing them? 

Unravelling

At the end of September I started Susannah Conway's online course Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self.  I must tell you that this course has rocked me world.  It is already shifting me as well as everyone else around me.  There is a weekly photography assignment, a writing exercise and a video from Susannah each week for 8 weeks.
The different assignments has pushed me to look at my world and me in it.  What am I attracting and what am I missing that is right here.  Am I honoring myself in what I am doing and who I am?  Who am I really?  These questions have been swirling around in my head for the past few weeks.  Even picking up the camera and taking pictures of different things has allowed me to see me and my world.  I am always taking pictures of the kids and the things that we are doing but I very rarely capture me as I am always behind the camera.
She has another course that is starting in the new year and I strongly suggest it to anyone!  You never know that will unravel from within.

The Swing of Things

Sorry for my long absence I have been busy with shows, little ones and Mamahood.   I have also been wrapped up in creating many new and exciting things.  

I am hoping to get back in to the swing of writing and sharing the adventures and mishaps that go on here.  

Tomorrow I am hoping to share a few of the things that have been going on here as of late.  Until then here is a peak at our Thanksgiving Weekend.

{this moment}

A quiet moment at the kitchen table in the morning sunlight.