Welcome to the Third Decade (#35 ~ Have a Birthday Bash)

I stumble from sleep this morning and for a brief moment I am startled as the house is quiet. I then remember that the kids are with Dad having a special sleep over.  I also then remember that yesterday was my birthday and it is official I am now 30.  Yes for some strange reason this fact nags at me.  I can not pin point the exact reason for me feelings around turing 30.  Everyone who has passed this milestone continues to tell me that the 30's are the best.  I feel like I am no longer in a place where I can shrug life off and later say 'Hey I was in my 20's, that did I know, of course I made mistakes, I had lots of time to figure it out'.

I sometimes feel I have crossed over a river and when I looked back the bridge is now gone.  I try and look at the new landscape and see the things that have come there with me.  My beautiful children, my amazing husband, my friends and family that had supported me through so many things.  I look a little further and I start to see other images emerging in the distance. Myself as the artist I want and long to someday be. The Mother who in one moment is standing cheering her children on and in the other is holding and comforting them.  Paul and I standing in a moment of love, another moment of standing next to the sold sign of our first home.  I also see the faces of friends, some I recognize and others are friends I have yet to meet, but they are all laughing and smiling and I can feel their support and love.  Further in the distance I see myself as I am today.  I stand with my arms open welcoming myself into them. With trust I step forward and take my hand and as I look back across the river one last time and I see my fear standing there.  I turn back and take one step forward and know that with myself by my side there is nothing to fear.

With each step forward I smile into the sunshine