Summer Is Here

This weekend marked the official opening of the pool.  Which is a good thing as we have had some record setting heat here.  

Sam thinking about jumping in the pool

I am all set to enjoy myself pool side.  Knitting, latte and sun.  What else is needed?

Sam, Gramma and Sid enjoying the water!

On a different note, we awoke to a little girl with the chickenpox this morning.  This process is now almost over.  A few days of snuggles and we will have officially survived the chickenpox at our house. 

{this moment}

Fabric Balls

I made this the other night for a very special boy that will be coming into our lives in a few short weeks.  One of my greatest friends is expecting her little man at the end of June and so I have been creating away for him.

The latest creation was these fabric beach balls.  They were super easy to make and I used some scrap fabric from my stash which makes the project even more rewarding.   The pattern is from Purl Bee and can be found here.  They have the most amazing projects over there and I have a list a mile long of things I have found that I just NEED to make.

Here are a few of the other things that the little man will be getting when he arrives.  

Alpaca Silk Teddy Bear.  Ravelry Notes here.

Sea Silk Pilot Hat.  Ravelry Notes here.  

And this little blanket that is in the planning stage.  I am thinking of Baby Bamboo and I better get to work on it as he is only three weeks away!

New Baby Chicks

Watching New Life is Refreshing and Amazing.

Happy Birthday Queen Victoria!

Here we celebrated the Victoria Day Holiday Weekend.  Or more commonly known at the May 2-4 Weekend.  It is the weekend to kick off the great weather and summer moments ahead.  We open the pool, get the garden ready for planting and enjoy family time together.  The weather was amazing and we soaked up every single ray of sunshine.  

~ Apples on the Deck

~ Water Slides and Best Friends

~ Life Long Friendships

~ Lots of trips to the "Rock Park" 

(Each one has it's own name defined by the major feature at each) 

A Girl, Her Wheel, and the Saturday Market

Here's to a great feeling, good vibes, amazing people, and a dream come true. 

Happy Summer Everyone!

Truth & Ugly Truth

.  

Motherhood.  What does this mean really.  I have been doing it for the past 4 years and it still isn't any clearer than it was the day I found out I was pregnant for the first time.  Motherhood is not what I expected.  It is a lot harder, terrifying, life changing, sadder and frustrating and I ever imagined.  It has changed me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually when I never thought I wanted it to.

I had this imagine of a Mama that was calm, caring and peaceful.  She cooked, cleaned and created for her family.  She needed nothing, complained about nothing, and was happy being a Mother and a Wife.  She was fulfilled having gotten everything she dreamed of.  She had an imagine in her mind of a life and made it happen.
In reality of this imagine is a Mama who is rarely calm and peaceful.  She yells a lot and then sad for doing so.  She cooks without meaning and cooks most nights because she knows that people need to eat.  Clutter and boxes stuffed (with everything that was on the floor) are her friends.  The kids watch A LOT of TV.  Creating for myself is the only thing that panned out, and that is mostly for sanity.  She complains all the time about everything and is not happy only being a Mother and Wife.  In reality I don't like the wife part most of the time and fulfillment is the last thing on my mind.

Yet everyday I smile and think about the beautiful, amazing and blessed life I have.  How can I have polar opposites going on at the same time?

I wish there was a handbook that tells you in a clear flow chart.  If your values, imagines and outcomes for Motherhood are this, then follow these steps and it will happen.  It seems that when I think I have it all figured out and somewhat on track my whole system goes to crap.   I want to dig my heals in and scream stop shaking up my world!!

I was recently turned on to Get Born.  A magazine and blog about the reality and rawness that is Motherhood.   An uncensored image.  There was an entry on the Truth of Motherhood and the Ugly Truth which has sparked something among my community of Women.  One writes about it here while another good friend writes about the rawness of it all here.  I read this and cry. Tears stream down my face as chaos continues all around me.  How is it that some are seeing the beauty and learning while I am stuck still in the sadness and being overwhelmed?

Here is my Truth and Ugly Truth. (please be gentle)

Truth: I love being a Mother 

Ugly Truth: I am jealous of the Mothers who have it all figured out.  Who have found everything that I am looking for.  I wish I was like the Mothers that everyone else around me is being.  To be like the amazing women that I am surrounded with.  The ones who are doing it all with grace and dignity.   

Gratitude

It has been a long and tiring week with everyone getting ill in some manner or another.  Little sleep last night as Lily was up with a high fever.

While I am overwhelmed and seeking some Mama time, I am still looking for things to be grateful for.

So Today I am Grateful for:
~ A little man who is now stronger for fighting through the Chickenpox
~ The snuggles from my normally independent little girl.
~ Family that has supported me this week, giving me little breaks here and there.
~ A man who loves me and supports the health choices we are making for our little ones.
~ The cardinals that allowed me to be a part of their courting ritual in the backyard this morning.

What are you grateful for amidst the chaos of life?

At the End of the Day

After the day started bad and then just spiraled out of control is was this simple sight of seeing Daddy and his Girl creating in the garden that helped me to breathe and realize that tomorrow will be different, and everything is o.k.

The Perfect Little Summer/Everything Dress

I have been obsesses with this dress pattern since it arrived in the mail two weeks ago.  I have been making them out of everything that I can find.

I originally saw the dress here and thought to myself that it looked like an easy enough piece and that with the pattern I could make my own.  I searched on the internet and couldn't find what I was looking for anywhere.  Then out of the blue one day when reading this post of Amanda's I realize she has made the dress I have been looking for!  She links to a website and sells the patterns and it is a very exciting day!!

The dress is every bit amazing and easy as I thought that it was going to be.  Only two pieces sewn together right sides together, turned right side out and then top stitched all around.  THAT'S IT!!  I used snaps instead of the called for buttons.  Two reasons; snaps help keep in on my active little girl and I can't figure out how to make buttons holes on my sewing machine.

I am so in love with this pattern that I am making one for every little girl I know.  I think the dress count is now up to about 10 in the last week.  Yes, yes, I am get a little obsessed when I love something, but a little sun dress for everyone is something great to be happy about.

Amidst the Chaos We Find the Peace

Our home as of late has been a little off kilter.  Sam has gotten a bad case of the chickenpox.   There is the few days leading up the outbreak with a little boy not quite feeling well.  The night with the fever and then the next two days of break outs.  Silly me I had been hoping for him to get them as a little guy so then it was done and over with and he would have the immunity built up before going into School this fall.  In the typical manner of my little guy, he doesn't so anything small or low key!

We had chickenpox EVERYWHERE!!  Unsure of the ones that were in his eyes, mouth and bum, we decided to take him to the Doctor.  Now I must tell you that Sam doesn't go very often.  We are strong believers in Homeopathy, natural care, and letting the body do what it needs to do without the interference of outside sources and medicines.  We figure our bodies are very smart and know what is best for itself to heal.  We don't bring down fevers as this is the body killing what is harming it.  We let noses run as this is the body getting out what it doesn't want inside.  The body knows best.  We often tell the kids when they say that are not feeling well or something hurts to ask their body to make it better, it knows how.

Now I didn't know that Chickenpox can hurt.  I had heard of the itching but not the pain.  So we had been giving creams and oatmeal bathes and he was still complaining of them hurting.  The Doctor confirms that for many the pain is far more intense than the itching and so we should be treating the pain as well as the itching.  This means lots of Tylenol.  Gulp......  Giving medicine of any kind is way outside my comfort zone.  But I look over at my little guy who is sobbing from the pain and the itching and I can't help but want to do WHATEVER will make him better.  Isn't that the natural instinct of a Mother?

A day later and lots of snuggles, sleeping, and some medicine (we had to make a shopping stop as I didn't have anything the Doctor suggested)  Sam seems to be doing better.  He has a little bit of energy back so we are trying to come up with quiet activities to encourage more rest.

The process of trying to do what is best as well as standing for what you believe in was difficult.  I have always said that it is easy to stand for all natural when everyone is healthy, but it another when someone gets sick.  In this situation we used a combination of both to make the best decision for Sam, but it was difficult for this Mama.  A Mama who is still trying to figure everything out.

Number 22 - Learn to Wet Felt

Over the weekend I crossed off Number 22 on the list.  I learned to felt.  When I first created the list I put learn to wet felt when I have now been educated and realize what I should have put what learn to needle felt as this was what I wanted to learn to do.  

With the encouragement of an amazing friend we took a course this past weekend at Gemini Fibers on needle felting.  We made a sheep.  It was an amazing day of friendship, meeting new people and rejuvenation.  

Here is my little guy.

I think he looks more like a lion instead of a sheep, but I have lots of wool that I purchased to perfect the technique!  Stay tuned for more of my creations. 

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  ~ Inspired by Amanda Soule 

These Eyes

Oh those eyes.....  My little man has eyes that I know will break hearts later.  He looks at me with them and I give him what ever he wants and needs.  They look right into his perfect little soul and I know that all is right with the world.

How can things be much more perfect than this?

* On another note, the picture was taken on my little camera, but on the black and white setting.  I have always been drawn to black and white, feeling it tells the same story in a whole different way.  A more simple and artistic way.  I am not too sure if I would be as captivated by this same photo if it was in colour.  What do you think?

Simple Moments

Sometimes looking at the simple things in life are what help us to realize that maybe they are not simple.  It is the simple moments that together create your day.  If we take them and enjoy them what can we see?  What are we missing or even what are we not?  We always focus on what we are missing but what if we aren't missing anything? 

FOR TODAY

May 11/12, 2010...  {I started writing yesterday evening and then mamahood took over and I never made it back to the computer to finish.}

Outside my window the wind is blowing as it has been for the last week.  What has made Mother Nature for upset?

I am thinking of the fabric that lays on the table waiting for me to turn into the long awaited dress. 

I am thankful for his love!  

From the kitchen homemade soup warms on the stove for dinner.  I am getting the broth tasting closer to Paul's Mom's.  He adds suggestions each time I make a new batch.  

I am wearing PJ's still.  I am really not a morning person.  I need coffee, time and food before being able to function in the morning.  You would think that after all our time together my little babes would know this, still they do not.  

I am creating LOTS of pottery for the Summer Shows. Check out the website for a list of where I will be this summer and fall. 

I am going to a felting workshop this weekend and I am SO EXCITED!!  A whole day with fiber!

I am reading Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffennegger.  I LOVED the Time Traveller's Wife and have read it twice and loved it more the second time.  

I am hoping to let go of her energy that is sucking up so much of me.  It is an old pattern so it will take time to create new patterns but it needs to happen for me to move forward.

I am hearing the voices inside encouraging me to do what's best for me.  

Around the house it smells clean and fresh.  We had Molly Maids come as a birthday present from my sisters in law.  It was so amazing to leave and come home to a beautiful clean home and it all happened while I sipped lattes!  

One of my favorite things to see is Sam and Lily finally playing together.  What a magical moment (sometimes it doesn't last long before one of them is crying but the moments get longer and longer)

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Sleep, teach, learn, take Sam to meet this Kindergarden teacher. Be ok. with all these things.  

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:  

Check out what other simple things people are noticing in their lives at The Simple Woman's Day Book. 

Motherhood

Motherhood is not for Sissies.

Motherhood is not for women with weak stomachs, strict routines, or wall-to-wall white carpeting. 

Motherhood is not for women unable to juggle three things at once, read between the lines, or face fear on a regular basis. 

Motherhood is not for woman who refuse to believe in miracles, or tomorrows, or themselves. 

Motherhood is not for women too quick to use the word "impossible," or to hesitant to say "yes, you can."

Motherhood is for the caring and courageous women who make a difference in the lives they touch.  

Happy Mother's Day to all of us believing in ourselves and our children!

{this moment}

A single moment from our week that I want to cherish and remember.  

This House is a Home

Moving seems to be an event that reoccurs in our lives.  We realized the other day that since Paul and I meet we have not lived in one dwelling for more than a year and a half.  We have been moving to make a change or our situation changes and a new residence is needed.
While all the moves have been a step in the direction we needed to go, the constant moving can sometimes give us the sense of temporary all the time.  The idea that we are only "here for now".  We never really make anything our own and so it never really feels like our home.
We decided that this is not a way we want to be living and feeling, that this may be our "for now" house for the next 5 years, so we need to stop thinking of it that way and make it our home.

As my Mother's Day gift as well as completing one of the things on my list of 73 things in 730 Days we are redoing the gardens.  I love the look of colorful and beautiful flowers in gardens.  It makes the homes looked loved and lived in.  To drive or walk up to our house with the gardens beautiful is like a giant WELCOME HOME sign in the front.

The kids helped with the digging up and replanting. (Lily ate more dirt than her total weight I am sure, while Sam accidently pulled out flowers we wanted to keep).   We enjoyed working in the earth together as a family with Uncle Jon directing with his landscaping background.  All in all I think the result is beautiful. We have a few more shrubs to buy this weekend and more chip to lay, but I can see it all coming together and I almost feel the house thanking us for loving it while we are here, no matter what the length of time.

Results of Leaving Fear Behind

This is the results of the Pillow Case Dress.  It seems to be a little big on our little one.  But she will grow into it.  I am thinking of making a small seam on the side to make it a little smaller.  I will keep you posted on results.

73 Things in 730 Days

Recently there have been many things flowing around our lives.  Lily turned one marking a milestone in our lives.  She celebrated a birthday I celebrating surviving.  I recently turned 29 which means that next year is 30.  These two things seems to be rocking my thoughts and therefore my world.  
Recently a good friend asked why it was that I was having such a difficult time with 30.  I didn't really have an answer.  I don't want to say that I haven't done anything with my life as I have a wonderful Husband, two beautiful Children and a business that I am passionate about.  I have great friends a sense of community and connections in my life.  So why am I so freaked out and worried about 30?
After some thought I think what I realized is that I really have no idea WHO I am and it is this aspect that I find difficult.  Don't you think that by 30 I should have some idea of who I am.  I was recently introduced to the Happiness Project, in which the author keeps reminder herself to "Be Gretchen".  So I too thought that I should remind myself to "Be Jamie".  What I realized was that I had no idea what that meant.
So inspired by Lindsey Alyce I decided to make a list of things that JAMIE wanted to do/try/experience.  So I make a list of 73 things to do in the next 730 days.  This will bring me up to the end of my 30th year.   I am hoping that by then maybe I will have a clearer picture or idea of what Be Jamie means.

73 in 730 Days

1. Learn to slow down

2. Plant a beautiful Flower garden

3. Celebrate our 5 year anniversary with a special trip

4. Go on a big family trip

5. establish a yoga practice

6. learn to meditate

7. have a booth at one of a kind

8. bake bread from scratch

9. have another baby

10. plant tulips 

11. see the northern lights

12. lay beneath a night sky full of stars, holds Paul’s hand and know true love

13. learn to listen

14. have breakfast in bed

15. cleanse my body

16. run a 1/2 marathon

17. learn a new art form

18. learn to bake pastry from my grandmother (no secret recipe it is the one on the tenderflake box)

19. pass on my craft to someone

20. go to a spa for the weekend

21. learn to juice

22. learn to wet felt.

23. make clothes for Sam and Lily

24. go to the French River 

25. help a friend give birth

26. enjoy running (I've come to the conclusion no one likes running while they are doing it, it is only after when you feel great! )

27. teach sam to ride a bike

28. learn to make cake stands

29. paint

30. create a sacred space in our room

31. learn to dance

32. learn to spin 

33. knit something for everyone I love

34. make sourdough bread

35. have a 30th birthday bash (edit Mar. 2011 ~ or at least have a great night with the boys)

36. learn to love my body by 30. ( lose that last 15 pounds)

37. write

38. watch Sam’s first hockey game

39. grow LOTS of vegetables.

40. walk Sam to his first day of school.  Let go and trust. 

41 make Sam and Lily quilts for their beds.

42. Find a recipe book I love

43. Have a pool party and invite everyone we know!

44. Learn to accept relationships

45. watch t.v less (it is my vice, I am learning to accept that! )

46. get a really amazing haircut

47. create family traditions 

48. show someone compassion

49. try to be more eco and earth friendly

50. use cloth mama pads

51. eat more healthy foods.

52. do the tree walking

53. take sam sledding

54. pay off the last of silly debt

55. watch Gone with the Wind

56. read a classic

57. play at the beach

58. take the kids to centre island

59. see whales

60. sprout some grains

61. publish something

62. make a rag rug

63. make home made ravioli

64. make pasta sauce

65. make soap

66. expand vegetable garden

67. buy a great piece of art

68. take a photo of an unforgettable moment

69. blow up a picture of mine and put it on the wall

70. teach Paul to dive

71. buy a new car

72. Redo the garden, make this feel like our home

73. capture all of this