Light

This morning was like a sweet miracle, she fell asleep next to me.

The arrival of Liliana was nothing like I expected. Everyone told tales of the second baby that would be low key and calm because they would have to be as they were the second. Lily was not this baby! I have spent that last 9 weeks with a little girl that cried all day for the first 6 weeks. The only way to calm here was to swaddle or but her in the sling and bounce her on an exercise ball. So day after day I bounced. We bounced in every room in the house depending on which room people were in. We even take the ball with us to other peoples houses, we were not being without the ball as it was and is the only thing that works.

At 6 weeks I reached my emotional limit and Piper my amazing homeopath stepped in and we started working through things. With the right remedy Lily started to laugh and smile during diaper changes and she started to open her eyes. She even would sit with you and not cry for a few minutes. This times grew greater and longer inbetween the crying. We started to see hope of some sorts at the end of the long days of crying.

I of course could not see what was wrong. She had an amazing birth with loving, strong and spiritual woman in the room and her and I did it together. We loved and cared for her and have kept here inside this little home until she was ready. Why was she so stressed and anxious? They all tell me it is just life and coming into the world.

So here we are at 9 weeks and she is an amazing little girl. She laughs and "talks" to us and is even on the goal of finding her thumb in the next few days, she is almost there and it is so amazing to watch. I see the light at the end and know that soon I willbe seeing her crawling, walking and playing with her big brother and the crying will be a time in which her and I got to spend with one another. Growing and bonding and creating our connection.

seasonal change

i sit here bouncing and typing with one hand as i am determined to get typing done.  i have been trying for the past few days to get to the computer to type, it has not been successful.  on friday lily and paul stayed home together so that i was able to go out.  i pumped and got a bottle all ready should she need it, worried through out the night and came home to a beautiful girl who had slept the whole time not waking once.   however, since then she hasn't wanted to leave the sling!  

the weekend here was beautiful and we got out to start the saturday ritual of the local farmers market.  we picked up the food of the season; rhubarb and asparagus.  fresh asparagus is unlike anything else!  

this weekend was also garden planting time.  the boys worked hard at getting everything ready for the garden here at our new place.  there was a lot discussion as to plants, size and location.  in the end it was perfect. 

this was the first time that sam planted the seeds and was very excited to be a part of this rhythm of the seasons as well as the earth.  

in an effort to tap into these rhythms a group of us have been inspired by two books; The 100 Mile Diet and Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.  as a result we are making a pledge and commitment to eat locally grown and produced foods for the next year.  while this seems like an overwhelming task it is also a way in which to teach my children about the earth, nature and who we effect this with everything that we do.  

the sleeping babe has awoken.

Exploration

This is the post that didn't make it yesterday.  

 I am always amazed to watch the kids as each of the learns and explores new things.  We watch as Sam explores the world around him wanting to always "I do myself Mommy"  as well as exploring his body and creativity (sorry about blurry pic).  I have noticed since I have opened myself and the kids up to creativity, Sam has embraced it with vigor! 

Lily is getting so big and I have to pause and remember that she only entered our lives a short 8 weeks ago.  She is exploring the capabilities of her body and she learns to life her head and use her arms.  What an amazing thing to watch and learn from.  They encourage me to explore the many different aspects of my life. 

Right Now I Am.....

Loving: This new little girl in my life Welcoming: The warmth of the sun on my bed in the morning Appreciating: The patients that comes with having a newborn Noticing: My new body Wishing: For Creative Inspiration  Eating: Granola; at all hours of the day and night Counting: The days until Fairy Lake Artisan Festival Feeling: Overwhelmed  Listening: To a toddler tell me about his day Thinking: I love the people who have touched me life today.

One Thing a Day

This the second attempt at posting today. The first time I did was this morning while bouncing with Lily while she cried, playing hockey with Sam and eating my lunch all at the same time. It was a beautiful post about the exploration of my children and their lives.

Of course as I went to post the wireless kicked me off and the post was lost.

I have been told that I should choose one thing in each day that was the most important to me and have that get done and be happy with that.

Today I am happy to have both children finally asleep after an evening to crying and the laundry is folded.

The Holiday Weekend

The past few days have been spent in cars and on bouncing balls. We took a trip to visit my Grandmother this holiday weekend. I was unsure whether to go as Lily has not been liking the car and screaming all along the way. However, with good intentions to went to visit and Lily slept the whole drive! The first time ever! The visit was amazing, brightening up the lives of my granparents is amazing the kids are great for them.

As a result of visiting and car riding Lily was alittle out of sorts this evening. Too much stimulation and therefore the result is a lot of processing on her part and this means crying. I know in my mind that the only way for her to communicate is to cry. Even the simple things of that sound scared me, comes out in cries. So we have spent much of the day bouncing.

Sam is moving forward as he does with change and decided that with the birth of his sister that growth is what he needs. Ring in the Potty Dance!! We have been wearing "Big Boy" underpants for almost a week with only 2 times of not making it. Theses are good odds.
Lets keep it up

Just a Giant Toaster

So yet again the kiln is on the fritz! It seems that the moment that I changed one element it has been having trouble ever since. Kind of like an old car, never touch it because as soon as you do then the whole thing will fall apart! However, we have new elements and that is the task this weekend. I am convinced that I can keep this thing running for many more years because after all it is just a giant toaster!

With a moment of calm last night ( all the kids asleep, including Paul ) I took a few moments to make some pieces in the studio. Me and my tea listening to the hum of the wheel was super relaxing and what I needed after a long week. One with the chicken poxs, another hitting the 7 week marker and crying alot, and another with a fever and general unwell. Funny how the adult with the fever is the most difficult to look after!
Being in the studio and knowing that there are pieces waiting for me down there this morning makes me feel as though I have a small piece of me the artist. With the routine that has arisen after Lily, the artist doesn't get much time to herself these days, but I am going to try and take them when I can. Even if that means I am sitting at the wheel with my tea in the quiet darkness of the night after all has been laid to rest.

Thunder Showers

We are indoors today with Thunder Showers outdoors.  

It is a great day for creating inside.  When the kids are sleeping the rain away this afternoon, Mommy will be creating in the mud!

Thunder Showers are a sign of summer and so the urge to create is making my fingers tingle. The ideas are flowing.  Now all I have to figure out is if Lily will sleep on her own or how can I learn to throw on the wheel with a baby in the sling!

Imagination

The imagination of children amazing and brings me to great wonder at times.

Who knew that toilet paper would make a great train track.  

I watch Sam everyday and wonder what new and interesting things that he will find and explore. 

I am in a moment of  rediscovering now that I have two children.  I am realizing that what I was doing before as a parent was great, but I feel the need to move forward and evolve.   For Easter I received "The Creative Family"  and have been eating every word up.  I have also then started to read her blog "SouleMama" every morning as part of the start of my day.  I have been feeling the need to incorporate more of her ideas and creativity into our daily lives.  I want to try and foster Sam imagination.  It is the great gift that young children have and they can pass this on to us as parents as well.  As a potter, and a creative being as well, I even more so what my children to live creative and imaginative lives.  

The research, reading and inner exploration continues.

Weekends at the Park

Sometimes the simplest things made the day worth a million special moments. 

Feeding the ducks is one of them

The Dance

Today I look forward to studio time. 

Will Lily and Paul be able to figure out their dance together for the afternoon?

Will I be able to let them do it and allow my creative ideas to flow and not worry?

Only time will tell.  

There are moments in time where I have to be o.k. with what is happening.  To learn to relax and enjoy it for what it is worth and the moments that are being created.  

Lily had one of those days in which no matter what it was nothing would soothe her.  Paul and I took turns wearing her in varies slings and carriers as she tried to sleep on and off.  We are trying to think of what it is that I may have eaten that made her so unsettled today.  Then again maybe it is nothing and she just wanted constant human contact today.  

It is days like today when I think that I haven't sat at my wheel in forever, when in reality it was only a few short days ago.  Having to make a new routine is proving to be difficult as I want to be in the studio as much as I can and have a longing to be there.  Yet I am struggling with the crying 5 week old Lily that needs me as well.  Now that I am not pregnant I am bursting with ideas for creations.  I am going to have to steal moments when I can. Moments in the studio and moments with the kids as well.