From Where I Sit

This is the view from which I sit a good portion of my day.  I have an office in the basement, but it is really a storage room as I never use it.  It is dark and cold and I can't be with the kids in there.  So I take over the kitchen table.  I can feed kids, myself, paint, color, watch Sam play hockey in the kitchen while Lily plays with the wooden house.  The kitchen really is the central location of our home.  Everything can be done in here and everything we need is right here.

I have been avoiding the basement and the studio as of late.  I am not motivated to be there and do what is needed of me.  Orders, students, art and obligation await me down there.   I have lost my passion for it and have been thinking of a million of other things the 'need' to be done.   I am trying to understand and accept being in a place of my art now being a job.  I used to sit in my student a cry thinking how great it was to be doing something I love.  Now I sit and cry and think why do I have to be here.  I know that deep down it is what I want to be doing, but I just don't have it right now.
Maybe it is just the winter blah and everything will be fine once the sun comes out more and I get filled up with more Vitamin D.   Makes it difficult to plan for the summer, with shows and courses, if right now I just want to hide under a rock and create nothing.

More Snow

We have gotten another dumping of snow.  So we are watching it fall from the warmth of the window sill, thinking of warmer days.  

Soon the snow will melt and our adventures outside will begin again (I am not a big fan of trudging through the snow) For now we snuggle inside, knitting, creating and watch two children grow while in winter hibernation.   

Movement

I sit in the warmth of the sun, moving my hands without even thinking.  I watch the children play and my love sits next to me.  The stitches move along the needles without effort.  My hands move in a meditative rhythm creating calm.  A beautiful weekend moment. 

Threading Lightly

I just wanted to share with you the other gift that I made Paul for Valentines.   On our wall is a saying that I love and so I thought I would put these same words on our pillowcases.  I had been eyeing the projects on Purl Bee and had yet to venture into embroidery but I thought that this was a simple enough project to start.

Sure enough it was.  I used a chalk pencil and traced the letters on the back of the printout and then placed them on the pillows and rubbed the transfer on.  I stitched them up in no time and I am now thinking of all the things that need to have that added touch of thread!

Getting to know her

There is not much sleep going on here as of late.  Lily is getting a molar as well as having a cold and so she is not sleeping well, which means that Mama is not sleeping.
It is difficult to see my little one not well.  She has been pretty healthy this past year and so we really haven't had a chance to meet unwell Lily.  It is not the being sick part that makes me feel uneasy but more so not knowing her.
I know my little guy.  He was fevery and sick much of the first year because of his vaccine reaction and therefore I know when he is really ill or if he just needs some down time and so his body whips up a fever for him to slow down and rest.  I also have my bag of tricks that I know work well with him.  Lily on the other hand I am having to learn all over as she is unlike Sam.
So we watch and learn.  Making sure that things are changing and she is moving forward and not getting stuck in any stage.

On the bright side this means that we are staying in the next couple of days and so I can resume my spot on the couch to watch the Olympics!

Valentine's Love

Yesterday I awoke to find pink roses, a card and a little pink tiger next to my bed.   It was 11:00am and I jumped awake.  I start asking all the usual Mom questions... Where is Sam, what about Lily, have they eaten, when did you get the flowers? 

Paul tells me of their morning...  At the moment Sam is watching tv, Lily is sleeping, everyone has had breakfast and a snack, and that morning he had packed them both up, went to the store, he and Sam picked out cards and got the flowers (he also tells of being in the card aisle with 4 other men on Valentine's morning getting cards, the others impressed as Paul was there with the two little kids).

I thank him for letting me sleep in and get up for breakfast to find another card from Paul (the first was from the kids) as well as potted mini roses.  Sam came running to wish me a Happy Valentines and asked now that I was awake could he have a snack and play hockey.  (we try and keep the hockey playing in the kitchen to a minimum while people are sleeping)

We spent the rest of the day watching the Olympics and having a quiet day at home.  We are really enjoying watching Canada win medals as well as watching the different sports.  Everyone is learning so much.  The exposure that Sam is getting to the different sports is amazing to watch.  He asks questions and wanted to know if he could wear the speed skates while playing hockey! 

This weekend allowed for a lot of knitting to get done. 

Paul's Valentine's Hat

It doesn't cover his eyes but the roll hides the cables a little.

A new hat for Sam

The Simple Woman's Daybook

I stumbled upon The Simple Woman's Daybook  while reading the end of Erin's Blog.  Apples for Poppyanne will be greatly missed.  She inspired me in ways that can never be truly put into words.  It takes great courage to come out here everyday and write for all the world to see.  Sometimes what we write is great and other times is it not, but it the truth and simplicity of what it like to be a mother, artist and woman in our lives.  

FOR TODAY

February 11, 2010...

Outside my window the snow has stopped for the moment and the sun is shining.  Parents and students rush past to get to the little school at the end of the road.  Soon that will be us. How my heart aches. 

I am thinking about my art as a job and how this changes my perspective.  How to continue to make work for orders, shows and myself while love and hating it all at the same time. 

I am thankful for the amazing man in my life that allows me to be the artist, mother and wife that I want and need to be.  

From the kitchen we are learning to cook with out dairy, sugar, gluten and most meats.  A cleanse that it forcing us to make a change that has been in the works for a while.  

I am wearing the same pink Lululemon hoodie that I have been wearing since Christmas that my brother bought for me.  I wear it, wash it and put is back on.  

I am creating a knitting hat for Paul for V-Day, Lily's birthday dress, my Sylvi Coat and the never ending order of yarn bowls, mugs and soap dishes. 

I am going to watch the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics on Friday night with a never before felt sense of national pride.  

I am reading Knit Two by Kate Jacobs.  The follow up to the Friday Night Knitting Club. 

I am hoping that I am making all the right decisions from the heart.  

I am hearing the water trickle from the fish tank telling me to top it up.  The dryness of winter plays havoc on Elmo and Nemo, Sam's two gold fish. 

Around the house it looks like a tornado has hit, but I know that it looks like this because I have two amazing children in my life.  My house looks like Children live here and this is how I want it to look. 

One of my favorite things is the Chai Concentrate.  It has changed my tea experience!  

A few plans for the rest of the week: Enjoy the long weekend together, mail the orders staring at me in boxes ready to go!  

Here is picture for thought I am sharing (What do you think is going through that little mind, deep thought or simple songs?)

Food Changes

Post have been few and far between as of late and for this is an sorry.  There has been some change here these past few weeks that has required a lot of energy that at this time of year is hard to come by.
I have started a Candida Cleanse as a way to clearing by body and hopefully relieving me of some of the issues I have been having as of late.  This cleanse has left me tired and feeling like hibernating while it all taking place.  Because I am still nursing Lily I am not able to do a traditional cleanse and so I have had to change my diet DRASTICALLY!
My husband is Italian and so the staples of his diet are pasta, meat and bread! To starve out the Candida I am eating No dairy, sugar, fruit or gluten.  Last week was the main detox week and so it was pretty rough around here.  To make things a little more difficult Lily has been nursing more as she is getting a few new teeth.  There was times that at the end of the day I had not eaten enough and was weak and grumpy.  Not feeling well at all.
I just imagined my body healing and getting better and trying to honour the process.  This week is going much better.  I had to learn some new recipes, get a few resources and remember to eat a lot more often!  I was used to eating big carb filled meals and feeling full most of the day.  I have been thinking for sometime about making a food change but had yet to make the change.  So I am guessing my body helped me to make the decision.  As though it already knew what it needed.  Not so strange how our bodies know what is best.

A Winter Reminder

Thank you to Soulemama for this amazing reminder.  At this time of year it is very easy to get caught up in the dulness of winter and the endless ice and snow.   Having this on my desktop background will help remind me each time I sit down here that Winter is a time for reflection and inward strength.  That one must slowdown, step back and recharge before leaping forward.

*You can get a copy of the desktop background at Amanda's Site.  www.soulemama.com

Small Change Update

This past month we decided to try and use the car less when picking Sam up from Day Care.  We did pretty well considering we have had some cold days here.  On the really cold days we had Paul pick him up on his way home from work so as to not have another trip out in the car.  We have also been walking to the grocery store a few times with the wagon to bring the haul.

In the studio I wanted to get a recycling box for all the tea cups.  Instead of took the water cooler out of the kitchen and put it in the studio as well as a few cups so that students are able to make their own tea and cold drinks.  Even though it is bottled water, there is no longer any paper cups and I am hoping to refill the bottle from the tap.

Moving forward into February we have decided to use Family Cloths in the upstairs bathroom.  I made them a few weeks ago and have been slowly using them.  I rather enjoy them seeing as I use toilet paper EVERY time I go to the bathroom.  Paul does not understand this concept and so was not really all the keen on the idea.  I figured even it the kids and I use them will cut the toilet paper use A LOT!

I just took a bunch of Lily's old receiving blankets and cut them into 6" squares and zigzag stitched around the outside.  Then we already have the cloth diaper pail in the bathroom and so we have just been putting the cloths in there with the diapers and washing everything all together.

I am also going to look into getting some Mama Pads as well for when Lily is done nursing and my rhythm gets back into the swing of things.  I have made a few prototypes with the pattern from Handmade Home.  Going to keep trying making a few more.